June 5th. 2:00am

Konnichiwa guys. How's it going? Hopefully pretty dang good seeing as this is the last week of school for you all, and I hope everyone did GREAT on their exams. (:

I really don't do anything anymore, not like I can haha. I sit around like I always have but it really gets old. I help Sarah and stay and keep her company because I love her and that's what I should do. Help her in anyway needed. Sapphire hasn't really been around much, and iunno if that worries me but I kinda don't feel that it's right, but what do I know? And Austin, well, he's a guy, well boy, and probably doesn't understand as much as he probably thinks but he should be nicer, verbally anyway, since he likes to say things. I feel that everyone should be helping out and being nice, but it doesn't seem to be going that way or to me it doesn't seem that way.

Someone made me this, suppose to be Stephen and I.
Heh.

As long as Sarah is getting and feeling better I am happy. She has to have chemo though. We don't know when but she does, for about 5-6 months probably. I don't think it will be too bad but you really never know, it can have different effects upon everyone. She already said she would rather her hair fall out then puke alot. Heck, I'm with her on that. I dislike throwing up, alot. All we go good, I hope and know it. Wish her the best of luck, cause I am. Read my last two posts and you will know alot.

Lately, I seem to just feel so down. I really don't know why and it annoys me. I feel that I am not acknowledged enough like I should be and I feel pretty much worthless. Iunno really. I just have alot of issues, and even though talking to someone (1 person) about it helps a little, it still doesn't make a difference about how I feel. I think I have alot of issues and problems with people but can't tell them, cause honestly, would you want to be yelled at?or someone give you an attitude for telling the truth?I wouldn't, so some things are easily kept to myself. Hmm. I miss my Mom, I really do. But I am use to that feeling. Just wish me and her could get more time to hangout. I hope she really is trying to do better. Anyhow.So, here goes a 5th in a row of just feeling..."okay". Ignore thise part of my entry please.

Ima go guys. Thanks for reading. Love you. (:

May 13th, almost 12am! ~LONGEST ENTRY YET!~

Hey guys. I know it's been almost a whole damn dang MONTH! Bummer bummer I know, you probably didn't really mind my boring rants and vents anyway, haha. You will probably be reading alot tonight, this morning, or even mid day so sit back and enjoy! Why? Because I feel like typing and if you have read my previous blog entries you would know I enjoy writing, typing, and what not. If you do not know and have not read my previous entries then maybe you should sometime when your bored, lonely, hyper, or some type of mood or non-mood. I shall carry on, thank you, haha.

What did I do today? I woke up and got ready to go watch/see Stallone and Sapphire graduate. They got their G.E.D's and well, getting that you also get a formal or well traditional graduation ceremony. Well, I finally got there! It wasn't as crowded as I had thought it would be, thank gawd >.>. But, I do tend to get attention..because of my damn darn hair, haha. Nina and Adam took me, and little Addison was there too. So I sat next to them, and most of my other family sat behind us. This seems to be taking forever to get to my point, xD. Point is, I watched them walk and get their diploma and it was pretty neat. First graduation I had ever been too, unless I was a baby..therefore I wouldn't remember haha. It was a pretty good experience and such. I enjoyed it.

I hope to succeed in getting my G.E.D as well, soon..like summer soon. The sooner the better right? My Dad said if I do it he would too, online courses though. I hope he's being 'foe real because that would be pretty wicked. I would finally not be considered a "drop out" anymore and at least having a G.E.D would be better than nothing, right? I still want to accomplish things in life, and become something..it's just going to take alot, alot of hope, alot of courage, alot of effort, and alot of alots! I already know it's going to be hard, everyone tells me that and I'm just sitting there thinking "Duh, I'm not retarded, alot of things in life are pretty dang hard." The simplest things in life aren't even that simple, c'mon now. But yeah, becoming something is really important to me.

I went and spent the night with my Mom not to long ago. It wasn't that bad. She seemed good, sane, and not high. Asheville, North Carolina, is such a beautiful place to go too. You should visit. People roaming and singing in downtown and playing musical instruments. Not to mention the hairstyles people had, I saw a purple Mohawk o:  I enjoyed seeing her and staying with her that night, because I hadn't seen her in so long. I was worried though, before hand. I was scared something would go wrong while I was with her, that she would do something and screw shit crap up again, and just worried to be with her. But, I was good and came home alive, haha. I was happy overall. I still miss her knowing that she lives ways from me but she texts me almost everyday. Also, I went to one of her meetings and it was really..something, nothing I had ever been to before. AAA meeting? Or something like that for addicts. I watched this one dude, well man, and he went up to a stand and was talking about how he had been clean for more than twenty years now and was really happy. He even told his story, I'm not sure if the word that would describe that would be inspiring but it was something near that. I really had a good time with her. I hope that next time it will be just as great.

Now to talk about my other Mother, my step Mom. The one who has been there for me since I was really little, not including my Dad. I'm sure she might be reading this because she usually checks up on my blog haha. She is truly an amazing person and an amazing Mother. I haven't really told anyone, but my family members that aren't that close to her..but she has Breast Cancer. Yes, Breast Cancer. She and the rest of us have known for awhile. She's has to go to many doctor and therapist appointments. She is having surgery the 25th of May, and I know she's probably scared to death. Hell Heck who wouldn't scared? I hate to say this, seeing as she is probably reading this and already knows, but there is a chance she/whoever can die through this type of surgery..But that's like every surgery right? I am sure everything will go fine. I am positive everything will be and go fine! If you don't know what anyone is like after breast cancer surgery you should probably look it up, it isn't so good. Takes weeks to months to years maybe to be fully okay or healed through a surgery. I admit, it's going to rough after the 25th. Mainly because she is going to get tired of laying around and not being able to do anything, and that truly sucks ass butt! Am I right? I believe I am, thank you. But I will be here and there to try to help her and do and get what she needs >.<. Not going to be easy like I said, but she will get through this and be a strong amazing woman like she already is. Please wish the best of luck towards her, even pray for her if that's what you do. Anything nice like that would be amazing. Thank you. Also, before I end this. Before I logged onto my Blogger today someone else was signed on..and you know who made their self a blog? My step Mom! I know what your thinking..Damnnnn Dannnngggggg. I know right, haha. I will put a link up to it below and you can read what she has posted so far. Follow her on here and go on a journey that she herself has not even begun yet. (She doesn't blog much I think.) Thank you for reading this <3. I love you Sarah.

Step Moms Blog: http://twistedsinz.blogspot.com/
Follow her^

That is it for tonight guys! I really appreciate if you guys read all this. It means alot. I love you all <3.
Pictures below of what was discussed<3.

 Graduation photos:

Dad, Sapphire, Austin, Stallone, and Me.

Sapphire and Stallone.

Again.

 Some Asheville pictures:

Mountains o:

Alot of people downtown, look at her and her instrument! So cool :3.







I must say, this might be one of the best entries I have wrote yet.  (: